This is a guest post from one of my very best friends, Kaitlin Troutman. Kaitlin and I met in college and in just a short time, we have become so close. We get to walk through our season of singleness together and God has given her a passion to share with others what He is teaching her. She is so amazing, so wise and truly one of the best people I know. As she shares a bit of her story, I hope you will be encouraged by her words!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unfulfilled promises, hopes, dreams, and expectations…we all have them. What I have realized is that during this life we will have many disappointments and most likely will have people who fail us for various reasons. I think at times we place God-sized expectations on people that they are simply unable to fulfill because of their humanity. We tend to expect the people around us to deliver on what can only be received from God.
After much thought and evaluation on my life, I have realized that my main area I tend to find satisfaction from, aside from my relationship with the Lord, is in my relationships with people. Obviously people are important and I believe we were created for relationship, however when those relationships become elevated over my relationship with Jesus Christ, that is when I run into potential danger. My relationships with friends, family, or a significant other must always remain secondary to my relationship with Christ. When my focus is shifted and Christ is not my first priority, my perspective becomes skewed and I begin looking to people for my fulfillment. What I have been reminded of is that I must pursue after Christ as my true source of satisfaction and as my first love. This is an active pursuit and it requires a daily surrender and constant refocusing to make sure I stay on track. With that, I can’t expect from people what I should look to Christ for. My satisfaction cannot come from people or things, because they will never truly fulfill the longings and desires of my heart.
Speaking from a female perspective, one of the areas of greatest disappointment I’ve encountered is with guys. Based on my beliefs as a Christian and being raised by parents who instilled strong values within me, I have always had high expectations for the type of character I expect from any guy I might potentially date. I can truly say that I have been content with my singleness and have used this unique time in my life to glorify Him and invest in the lives of those around me. Of course there are times where I think it’d be nice to have a boyfriend to spend time with or to do this or that with, or especially during the holidays it would be fun to have their company. I find that my contentment is tested in times when guys appear to be pursuing after me by initiating intentional conversations…however, I find myself continually let down and left disappointed once again. I must say, it is rather frustrating and it is not easy on the heart after a while, no matter how strong or emotionally stable you are. We are still human after all. It’s always a risk when you put yourself out there, but I try to be transparent, vulnerable, and genuine with the people in my life because I believe it’s worth the risk. I have to admit though, after many instances of “talking” with guys or even going on dates with them and getting my hopes up only to be let down, it’s hard not to start putting up higher walls around my heart. I find that I have to take even more extensive efforts to protect and guard my heart from potential hurt. It’s during these times that I have to remind myself who holds my heart, which is Jesus Christ.
I know that I am a daughter of the King and my worth and identity is found in Christ alone. He is the only one who can truly satisfy the desires of my heart. Jesus is my one, true love. I know that He will never leave me or disappoint me, which is contrary to anything of this temporary, earthly world we live in. No relationships on this earth can truly satisfy the depths of our hearts like Jesus Christ. Monetary possessions and people may temporarily provide us with a sense of satisfaction, but ultimately they will leave us empty, dry, discontent, and unsatisfied. The only one who can truly quench our thirst for satisfaction is Jesus Christ. Psalm 107:9 reminds us that Jesus satisfies the longing soul and that he fills the hungry soul with good things.
So, back to my disappointments with guys…sure, it feels nice to have the attention of someone asking us how our day was, checking in on us, and listening to us; however when for whatever reason the attention stops, what is it we cling to? For me, I tend to withdrawal and even at times I may want to give into feelings of self-pity and disappointment, but what I have realized is that God has created us for so much more and I must look to Him in these moments. Yeah the sting of rejection or abandonment hurts; I am not discounting that at all, but let’s remember Christ knows our pain more than anyone else. He walked on this earth and experienced pain, rejection, and betrayal. He was beaten, pierced, and laid down His perfect life so that you and I might have life and a chance to be reunited with God, our Heavenly Father. That’s true love.
I don’t know about you, but that reminder makes me want to get up, step out of my darkness, feelings of disappointment and self-pity and walk in the victorious light of Jesus Christ that He has invited us to. I refuse to let the enemy steal my joy. Psalm 16:11 states that in Christ’s presence, there is a fullness of joy; therefore, my joy is not based on my circumstances, but in Jesus Christ alone. I know that the King of my heart, Jesus Christ, will never let me down and His unfailing love for me will never run out. What more could I ask for? Let’s not forget this truth, even if in the dark, disappointing times we have to preach this truth to ourselves each day in order to believe it. The desire of my heart is to continue falling more in love with Jesus Christ each day and to seek and know Him more.
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